How to Stop Fighting Against Each Other — and Start Fighting for Your Marriage.
One-time payment · Instant PDF access · $9
It has a resolution problem. And that distinction changes everything about where to begin fixing it.
Every couple fights. That is not the issue. The issue is that most couples fight the same fight, the same way, over and over — and nothing ever actually gets resolved. The argument ends. The problem stays. The resentment compounds. And the distance between two people who genuinely love each other grows wider with every unresolved round.
Conflict is not the enemy of your marriage. Unresolved conflict is. The couple that learns to fight right — with humility, truth, and a relentless orientation toward repair — builds something that can survive anything.
❝ We have the same argument over and over. Nothing ever actually gets resolved. ❞
❝ By the time we're done fighting, I've forgotten what we were even fighting about. ❞
❝ He shuts down completely. I escalate. We've never once figured out how to meet in the middle. ❞
❝ We love each other — but sometimes I wonder if that's enough to survive the way we argue. ❞
"Be angry, and do not sin — do not let the sun go down on your wrath." — Ephesians 4:26
God never promised a conflict-free marriage — He promised the power to resolve what we cannot handle alone. This ebook combines biblical truth on peacemaking, Gottman research on repair, attachment science, and thirty years of real-marriage counseling to give you nine proven principles for resolving conflict in a way that actually brings you closer instead of tearing you further apart.
Each chapter is brief, powerful, and built for immediate application — not just information.
Conflicts never resolve themselves — they calcify. This chapter reveals why someone must go first, and why the spouse who initiates repair is not the weaker one in the room. It is the courageous act that images God's own covenant character.
Pride is the primary cause of conflict — not money, not sex, not in-laws. This chapter builds the humility that disarms every argument, and shows why the spouse who takes responsibility first almost always wins the reconciliation.
You cannot resolve what you do not understand. Most people in conflict are not listening — they are waiting for their turn. This chapter teaches you to hear the emotion beneath the words, the real need driving the volume, before you open your mouth.
What you say matters. How you say it matters more. This chapter gives you the biblical and practical framework to say hard things with grace — so your spouse can actually receive what needs to be heard without shutting down or escalating.
A half-hearted apology reopens a wound. Real forgiveness releases a debt. This chapter teaches you both — what a genuine apology sounds like, and what forgiveness actually requires — so conflict ends in healing rather than a temporary ceasefire.
Most couples are problem-focused — they relitigate what happened. This chapter shifts your entire conflict framework toward what comes next: practical, forward-facing resolution that produces real change instead of repeating the same postmortem.
The words used in conflict can wound deeper than any action. This chapter draws the hard line between fighting the problem and attacking the person — and gives you the language of honor that protects the marriage even when the conversation is painful.
Two people cannot stay hardened toward each other and pray together at the same time. This chapter makes the case — biblically and clinically — for bringing God into the conflict itself, and gives you a practical way to do it even when it feels impossible.
A single resolved conflict is a victory. A culture of resolution is a transformed marriage. This chapter shows you how to build the daily habits, agreements, and relational rhythms that make destructive conflict rare — and recovery fast when it does happen.
Every bonus below was designed to work alongside this ebook. Together, they cover the full spectrum of what makes a marriage thrive.
Your complete bundle includes:
Over 200 conversation-starting questions to ask and discuss with your partner — covering every area of marriage. The couple who talks about everything has nothing left to fight about. Use this guide to go deeper than you ever have before.
When conflict reaches a breaking point, most couples don't know where to start. This guide gives struggling marriages the exact questions and structured framework to break through the worst impasses — and find their way back to each other.
Financial disagreement is one of the leading triggers for marital conflict. This guide equips couples with full financial clarity — so money stops being the source of your most damaging arguments and your most damaging silences.
The couple who asks the right questions before the wedding never has to answer the hard ones after it. Everything professional counselors ask — before the damage is done. Invaluable for newly married couples as well.
20 questions designed to reignite the passion in your marriage. Because a resolved conflict is only the beginning — the real goal is the closeness that comes after the fighting stops. This guide helps you get there.
"Chapter One broke something open in me. I had always waited for my husband to come to me first. This ebook helped me understand that making the first move is not weakness — it is exactly what God calls us to."
"We had been in the same conflict loop for six years. Chapter Six — the solution-focused approach — literally changed how we end arguments. We stopped relitigating and started actually solving. That's not a small thing."
"Chapter Seven hit me harder than I expected. I did not realize how much shame I had been using as a weapon — disguised as honesty. This ebook gave me language for what I was doing and tools to stop doing it."
"Lloyd writes like someone who has sat across from real couples in real pain — because he has. Every chapter felt practical, not theoretical. We finished it in two evenings and started applying it the same week."
How to Stop Fighting Against Each Other and Start Fighting for Your Marriage — plus 5 free bonus ebooks.
🔒 Secure checkout · Instant PDF delivery · lloydallen.org
Every couple fights. Only the ones who learn to fight right build something that lasts. This ebook — and your five free bonuses — give you the nine principles that turn conflict into the doorway to greater closeness.
Get Conflict Resolution in Marriage — $9— Lloyd Allen | Marriage Educator, Therapist, Family Coach and Theologian.